random kook: (paddling toward me...) Hey girl!
me: (watching the incoming set & thinking wtf?...I haven't been called "girl" for close to 25 years)
random kook: Hey girl! ....I'm not supposed to be out here. I have seizures....and I'm supposed to wait another month...but I couldn't wait that long....so if you see me face down in the water could you make sure I make it to shore?
me: (looking directly at Mr. Kook) I'm off duty. No lifesaving for me this week. (turn....catch wave)
random kook: (dumbstruck look on face = priceless)
*for those of you that don't know....in my former life I was a lifeguard/swim instructor....and I've had my fair share of mouth-to-mouth/cpr/saving-some-idiot's-ass. That training is ingrained in me. Any time I'm in the water....the eyes in the back of my head are very much aware of who's around me & what's going. I can't escape it. So....Mr. I'm going to go against my doctor's orders & not only put myself at risk but put everyone else around me at risk as well....eff off. I'm no longer licensed to save your ass. Oh....and on the off chance that "that" was your pick up line? ....get better material.
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4 comments:
I reckon it was a pick-up line - pathetic!!!
About the mouth to mouth thing ........? or in my case mouth to moth ........ oh never mind.
you tell him surftwin!
Not the old 'I'm gonna have a medical episode and drown in front of you line' - I am sooo sick of people using that one on me in the line up...
harsh... but as you said, your rear set-o-eyeballs are there for good and probably cant be closed or ignored.
good try
surf on...
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