sunset

That time of year. Closing. Gearing up...as everything and everyone else gears down. New software. New files. New clients. New papercuts. Long days. Followed by long weekends. Three and a half months of hell. Little time for family. Little time for friends. Very little time for surf. Perhaps it's a blessing that tax season coincides with the shittiest season of surf. At least.....that's what I tell myself.

Self-deluding......is a gift.

Time to take stock. This will be the last season. Fourteen. .....or is it fifteen? I've lost interest. I no longer enjoy the game. I know every client by voice. (Even if I don't recognize their face.) I can find a file with my eyes closed. Even scarier.....I know the numbers on every clients' return. Yep....all 150+ of them. Really....it's no surprise. I handle them all.

At least.....I used to.

The numbers no longer thrill me. Long gone are the days of being awed by millions....on a W-2. No longer excited by ...working the line. ...adjusting. ....finessing. ...creative accounting.

The last season of bitchy clients. The last season of dealing with the IRS and ODR. The last season of working my 10-key and computer keyboard simultaneously. Right hand. Left hand. Working in unison. The last season of making coffee. Starbucks....Sumatra. The last season of watching people's eyes glaze over, as I explain what it is I do.

What will I do? Anything. Except write the next great modern american novel. A given. Hopefully.....find more time for surf. Find more time for my son. Find more time for.....whatever the tide brings.

I'm sure there'll be plenty of staring in the mirror. Oh...the horror.

Ample time to figure it out.

Three and a half months....to be exact.

I welcome the challenge.

photo courtesy of Gaz

nice

...apparently the rev was on santa's nice list this year. 

coal

this was the wish...


a world away....this is what showed up...

best

A valentine
on
Christmas Eve

How lucky am I?

scream

keep talking
I'm no longer
listening

glass

this one goes on my christmas wish list.... 

escape

I can't live without water. Yeah...okay smartass....none of us can live without water. It's more than biology....or anatomy. I need water. In water. Around water. Submerged. Breathing mouthfuls. Wading. Treading. Paddling. Stroking. Gliding. Splashing. Turning. Trimming. Flipping. Kicking. Feeling. Water.

...how could anyone live landlocked?

peaceful

cold again.....in the mid-twenties with freezing fog. nothin to do but contemplate warmer days... 

solace

Etta

At last....

was heading to bed
and
there you are
on
OPB

think I'll sit here
awhile

...my heart was wrapped up in clover...

soothe me
sultry lady
send me to bed
with
sweet dreams

...and then...and then....the spell was cast...

purgatorio

I sat in the dark last night and wondered....what now?

No power.

Seems simple enough...till you actually have to think about it. Not just "no power". No lights. No heat. (my apt is electric) No tv. No stereo. No movies. No pump working on the fish tank. (the v-man was quite worried about the two fish I've managed to not kill) No computer.

WHAT??!?

No computer.

Crap....what'm I going to do now? I can't get online. I can't view my favorite saffa break. I can't get a surf report. Not that there was one....combined seas of 40ft with gusts up to 65mph.....? Yeah.....I'm all over that one. Still....sitting and staring at NOAA. Knowing that no-one else is getting any. Kinda comforting....in its own sick way.

Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh.........

No worries. Light 50 candles. Yes that many. Put the kid to bed. Pull Dante off the shelf and start reading. Not sure why..... The Portable Dante. Edited by Paolo Milano. Ragged. Torn. Read forward and back. More times than I care to remember. Notes jotted in the margins....in pink. I love this book. It's best when flipped through randomly. Okay...I have to confess...I was looking for something in particular. A passage. But that's beside the point. This book is close to 16 years old. It's been to the pool. The beach. The office. It's kept me company on the bus. Fended off my mother....when I burried my nose further into hell. My favorite.

Comfort food.

Fell asleep on the couch last night. Dante in my lap. Cantos on my brain....

Down there a place is that no torments try
But only darkness grieves, where the lament
Hath not the sound of wail, but is a sigh.

north

the rev sends his sunday regards... 

hush

If I whisper to the moon....will she hear me? 

genie

bottle up
blues & aaaahhhs
polish to a high shine
save your wish

calvary

skipped
the usual
and
opted for
the cemetery
this morning

subtle
shifts
open
eyes

lost

Victory at sea...found me on the dark side of the moon. 

monolith

Yesterday's surf report came in the form of this pic. Check out the soldiers marching in. I see her every weekend.... she still takes my breath away.

hungry

sensitive
energy
fields
emitting
frequencies
for
feasting

hoyt

winter's
decay
has
set
in

sweet thing

"...my skin is tan
my hair is fine
my hips invite you
my mouth like wine

who's little girl am I..."

check

I need
to not
turn off
my
self-editing
mode

revival

Surfed a new spot today. Checked it many times over the years....but it's never quite enticing enough to actually hit it. Not to mention....it's one of those spots. You know the type....gives you the willies...while standing on land.

Today though....got a call from ding that said it was reeling...consistently. Loaded up the truck and headed over the hill. Falling tide and the bar was working. Think NOAA called for 5' @ 14 with easterlies. Hadn't been in the water in a month. (Including the pool.) Even though it was a dry-hair paddle out......I sure felt it. Three of us out. Some steep drops and fast rights rolling through. Got worked on a left that shut down. Thought I had the right line....but was slow to my feet and didn't make the section. Tried diving over the back as it exploded around me. Like getting hit with a wall. Came up gasping....with a huge shit eating grin on my face.

I love being humbled by a beautiful woman.

The heavy locals were working it hard. They definitely had the place down. Kept riding the big outside bombs coming through every 15 minutes or so. Guess they felt we had infringed on their peak.

Three big males. Harrassing us for an hour and a half. They would pop up within feet of us...bare a chest or two...snort... and out surf us on every wave. Gaz got the face off after a really zippy right....didn't think it was gonna let him back out in the line up. Then one of the big guys takes a liking to ding.....who's sitting about 5 feet from me....hits his leg and literally flips him off his board. Scared the shit out of me. Ding's screaming like a little girl...I'm scrambling to get my legs out of the water...and gaz is laughing at the both of us.

Crystal clear water. Sun shining. Bone chilling easterlies. Good company. Great day.

.....much needed and appreciated.

x

HA!

killed it
one hour
no help

...yeah yeah yeah....all you fucknuts that can do it in 20 minutes with your eyes closed......you know the drill..

and yes
killed the jumble
as well

chance

I felt captivated sitting in front of you...

occasionally
a dream
will speak
to me

formal affair

a dozen pair
of
sexy heels

not one
friggin
dress

digressions

um......Allan? Mr. Weisbecker?
shut up

seriously

please go back to writing television
or...something that keeps you
a bit more
focused

...and no. I don't mean..focused on yourself...

your latest?
like listening to a slow stutter

sp... sp... spit it out

weber

a unit of magnetic flux equal to 100,000,000 maxwells

imagine that...
I'm magnetic

flowery

Write. Write. Write. Yeah.......right.

I hate to write.

No. That's not right.

I hate to be criticized.

I spent four years (and a lot of money) at a private college learning how to write. Paper after paper after paper. Somehow...I knew I would never be the next modern american lit phenom. Too "dry" my professors would tell me. You're not writing a research paper. Not very verbose...are you? Filler. Can you expand on this? I'm sorry...I don't do fluff, floral or fauna. I might do Frank...but you'd have to ask him first. oohh.....the silent banter that often fills my head...

My preference has always been in the reading. It still is. Words....fascinate me. A sentence can swoop me up and transport me to other worlds. Hush me with silent joy. Envelope me in emotions. And... drown me with tears that run at the drop of a single word.

I read Bukowski....and hear his voice. Just the right emphasis. Perfect delivery. Seems fitting...it is his writing.

I read Shakespeare...and find myself staring face to face with Lear. Hating Goneril and Ragen. A silent pawn, watching from the wings.

Every word...speaks volumes. Every word...opens a door. Every word...

Write. Write. Write.

Yeah......right.

bird

once again
I sit here
contemplating
the couch

...if I were to run a bath
would you be there?

chivalry

"you've got diamonds for eyes
it's time for you to rise
and evaporate
in the sun"

...I was wrong

in the offering
of words

they
do
exist

dinner

"...you have my germs! You have my germs!"

You know what, buddy?
I gave birth to you
I gave you...your germs.

"Really? GROSS...!"

davenport

It's 32 degrees now.....may have topped out today at a whopping 35.....and will surely drop below 30 over night. Snow. Ice. Daily surf reports that leave much to be desired. Riding the memories of phenomenal summer surf......helps. 

detente

damn, red

observant...

world

I think...

knights in shining armour
no longer exist

over time they forget
and
simply fade away

hands

not the artist's
the ones
I studied
memorized
for close to 20 years

I would watch as
he threw pots
and wish
he'd handle me
with
the same force
the same care
the same attention
to detail

his
are different
I marvel at them

deja vu

...was I smiling?

tuck-point

one
by
one

the bricks
get reset

mute

bite
your tongue
hold
your words

remain silent

storm

saw you
in my dream
last night...

the rain
chased
it all
away

right

"I'm deeply twisted and there are things wrong with me."

twisting
deeply
left
right
down
you
go

hills & valleys
no wrongs

torn

doorknobs
locks
chains
tripping along
slamming down
without a sound
crying out
for more

miracle

imagine that...
a conversation
that didn't involve
arguing
yelling
or me
telling you
to
fuck off

raw

a careful
balance

he grabs me
by the neck
and
throws me
over

blind

"...I was just...
I was...just
sittin' here
thinkin'..."

rome

lazy
rainy
sunday

fog

grey
sheets
envelope
me

ditched

"...I'm tired of mom...can I stay at your place tonight?"

thanks buddy...

bite

gently
sink
my teeth
in

etta

you always manage
to find your way
back in

"...when you wake
in the mornin'
and you wonder..."

loose

"Does the tooth fairy have wings?"

Yes, all fairies have wings.

"Does it wear glasses?"

I don't know. Probably. I would think
she would need glasses to see all those
tiny teeth.

crow

saw one
on my way home
today
made me think of
carlos

I need
to pull him out
and
give him
another read

you can't penetrate my special shield. yeah......right. 

simple

for best
results
unwrap
slowly

my best

...I am not ruining you. 

threats

fuck you

self-sufficient

fuck chivalry

elusive

seering
crystals
slowly
creeping
in

trade

red's always
reminding me
of shit

she got the man manual
I got the neuroticexerciseeatingdisorder manual

she gets men
I get to be a size 2

language

it
can't
all
be
foreign

tango

carefully
chosen

subtle
sexy

steps

hello

asswipe

I'm not
required
to give you a
rundown
of my daily
goings on

flowers

every so often.....I get flowers 

whew...

still a 2

20 years

we have...

smiled
laughed
talked
skinny dippped
played
puked
whispered
cried
shouted
listened
loved
flirted
hugged
walked
run
trudged on

and you're still
4 days older

pink

my favorite color.... (photo courtesy of the dugalman)

smooth

"...alignment of
stars & scotch..."

keep it simple
beers & baseball

save the scotch
for the good ol'
southern boys

fired

apparently
my scissor skills
aren't
up to snuff

sly

subtle
steps
you
take

obtuse

difficult to comprehend
not clear or precise
in thought
or expression

maybe
I'm just
dull

words

elusive
yet
always
speaking directly
to the
intended

lego boy

...he's amusing me by stringing the guys by the neck and hoisting them up. Group photo.... 

kisses

lady
you make me
want you
I better let
Red
know
she has
competition

mac

I have
two bottles
of
The MacTarnahan
15 year
single malt scotch
sitting in my cupboard
hand delivered by
mac himself
often
I find myself
standing and staring
cupboard open

tempted

spinning

The Anthology

hormones

yeah yeah yeah
back on the
ugly H word

7 weeks
of
desert
today
the dam
broke

wrecked

one
long
day
of
losing
it

not

...feeling
radiant
today...

birthday wish

i wish...

switch

instead of our
usual routine
where
I read the story

tonight

my son read to me

halloween

got felt up by
my six-year-old
certainly
not the groper
I was hoping for

happy birthday to me...

time

red reminds me that
I don't do casual

she knows me well

crazy

my
horrid scope
actually
made sense
today

moon

glowing
brilliantly
tonight

wish it were full

trick-or-treat

.....give me all your candy..... 

tease

"...I don't get
fun offers
like that anymore..."

she said with a sigh

friday

today's drive...
brilliant
oranges yellows & reds
that fade into
greys and greens

no on ramp
no brake lights

no rush

rest

one
empty bottle of red
one
finished x word (with help)
hot bath
fresh sheets
cool breeze

waiting for sleep

dark circles

another
sleepless night

cold air
pouring in through
the open window
helped
clear my
head

you

Your voyeuristic actions...

confuse me
challenge me
scare me

...understand that I started this as a means of expression. Expression that I need. By letting you inside.....I've taken a chance......allowed you to experience my vulnerability. Vulnerability.....that doesn't come easy.

Don't take advantage of this generosity....I've afforded you.

tonight

my son
told me I was
beautiful
of course
in the very next
breath
he said I was
crazy

38

"...the more
old
you get
the more
nice
you get..."

he said with a smile

wry smile

...a little bird
whispered
in my ear...

drive

...I need to
stop listening to
Etta
in the morning

jc

no
not the holy
one
pretty damn close
though

...he's joining
me
in my bath
tonight

puke

it's difficult to
keep them down
burried
out of sight
when all I want
to do
is vomit them
for all to feel

queen

three cats
and a kid
kicking me
to the couch
more room there
anyway...

laundromat

would be nice
if the guy
next to me
would stop staring
at my folded
panties

better

the bremer joke
still had me chuckling
this morning...

sour

in a mood...

lucky

"...not much to look at.
Nothin' to see. Just glad
I'm living. Lucky to be..."

leave

what
does it mean
when my
dream
tells me
I'm closed

rs

cold
clear
glassy
light off-shores
she said
she needed walking on
tried my best
to oblige

muddle

ruffles
my feathers
that
cute boy
does...

lady

poured myself
a glass of red
and
went
searching for
betty carter
tonight

I found her...

"...afraid that if
I kiss you
you might think
it grand
then love will have
the upper hand..."

me

made
the mistake
of looking in
the mirror
a few more lines
several more greys
another year
coming to a
close

white

in the mood
for
something different
today

jealousy

...is an ugly
emotion
one that I often
let get the better
of me

weak

my whole life
I've been told
I'm hard
high maintenance
difficult to please
I've spent
a lifetime
talking to walls
lines
cats
even my
best friend
never received
the multitude of my
thoughts
my conversation
reaching out
for me
is beyond painful
almost....
crippling

sometimes

I hate myself
to lose control
of my thoughts
my emotions
even to myself
humiliating

stupid

what
I really meant
to say was.....

grin

got a video
in the mail
today
so unexpected
I really do like
surprises...

semantics

for a six-year-old
he asks some rather
insightful
tough
questions
I try to answer
as best I can

hair?

wow.....I don't know
what
my deal is, but
this morning's dream
was just as bizarre
strangers
strong hugs
scissors
flowers
and hair

damn my radio

Yaks?

I had the most
amazing dream
this morning
Madonna
yoga
giant Yaks....
or possibly gnus
bright lights
a stage
and music
I was the camera
my view
through the lens
Just as things
started getting
interesting
my alarm went off

figures...

hohum

monday blahs
or is it...
withdrawals

yep...

because you know
me
better than
I know me.
Tell me
again
how I feel.

tongue tied

sitting home
alone tonight
thinking
I wish
I could
express myself
verbally

awake

it's late
a cool breeze just kicked up
breathing
feels good on my brain

backside

I have a new
woman
in my life
she's forcing me
to go right
I think
I like her

butterflies...

...filled my line-up
yesterday
not your usual
sea fare
simply
beautiful

placid

still water
can be deceiving
the calm exterior
often rages
underneath

bully

harassing
poking
cajoling
can't stop
can you?
congratulations
you've accomplished
what you set out to do
I'm responding

find a new hobby

terse

never offer
more information
than
required
I can do that

blah blah blah

is it just me?
my whole life
I've felt
like an idiot
as if
I talk
to walls
if these walls could talk...
I imagine
they would tell me
to shut the fuck up.

overdrive

how do I ease
my racing mind
slow it down
take it out of overdrive
too many thoughts
unanswered
too many ideas
unheard
Billie
Sarah
Etta
offer no help

cleansing

spent
a couple hours
in the water
yesterday
waves were fun
water was warm
smiles & laughter
in the lineup
all the tears
shed
the previous day
were washed away
with
one wave

Blue

ever have one of those days?
the kind of day
where only
Miles Davis
and a bottle of red
will suffice....

metastatic

the room was
emotionally charged
to say the least
so many
beautiful
women
thriving

red

going to a luncheon
today
for breastcancer
survivors
Red's mother
is one of those
survivors
Red worries
that her own beautiful
double d's
will one day be gone
I don't think
she believes me when
I tell her
breasts
don't make her
beautiful

?

emotionally exhausted
I let the little things
get to me
embarrassing
really

absent

haven't been here
in awhile
a lot going on
beginnings
endings
life

parent

....got a letter in the mail
I am now a member of
the Raleigh Park PTO
whether I want to be or not
do I have to start organizing
bake sales.......????

dilemma

I knew this day
was coming
a day of
paths crossing
not sure I'm
ready
perhaps
I can put it off
delay
the inevitable

lines

he wasn't quite one
he would line up cars
hotwheels
like a parking lot
then drive them
from one end of the table
to the other
perfect rows
almost
anal
it seems natural
that he's progressed
to army men
knights
firefighters
cops
lining them up
moving the troops

I still giggle at his likeness
to me

bits

you
were in my dream
last night
or
early this morning
everything tends to blur
when I'm tired

missing you today

oh......don't cut your hair

unknown

I seem to have many in my life
strangers
we develop relationships
I'm told
wanted or not
they exist
always
at an arm's length
safer that way

thursday

what a difference
a week
makes
this morning
I got the word

GROSS

no more
walking around
naked

synthetic

hormone
highs & lows
constant
up & down
lather
rinse
repeat

anonymous

you read my words
my thoughts
then leave your own
puzzling
one
many
unknown......all of you

friday

"MOM.........you look good!"
he shouted across the room

caught off-guard

I couldn't have asked
for a better way
to start my day

distance

this
is getting hard
this.....distance
i can type
arbitrary
words
yet
i can't tell you
how i feel

i was taught well

zen

religious meditation

enlightenment
by direct intuition
through meditation

Om
enlighten me
Om
meditate me
Om

I am zen

swim

a group of 8 & unders
he's not even 6
25 free
such a nice smooth stroke
effortless
like his dad
25 back
all the way to the wall buddy
turned over at the flags
disqualified
still......beautiful stroke
50 free
2 lengths
don't stop at the wall
keep going
another entry in his book of firsts
this former swimmer's wet dream

sliding

Here I am
doing it again
crying.
Stress?
Hormones?
Tired?
Could be
all of the above.
Nah.....
just the usual
disappointment
in myself.

firsts

when he was 5 he made a list
things he wanted to do
tonight
he got to cross one of those items
off his list
the smile on his face
left me in tears

call

I can't begin
to count the number
of calls that went unreturned
the number of emails that went
unanswered
disappointment
after
disappointment
I set myself up for it
every time
thinking....
this time
Now
you wonder why I don't call

karma

I don't know
maybe she thought she was being replaced
by the new & improved model
and
it wasn't my fault some punk did her damage
stabbed her
left her wounded & bleeding
whatever it was
she let me know exactly how dissatisfied she was with me
karma
kicked my ass, she did
left a gaping split in my head
equal to her own
karma
I suppose
I didn't need to ride the new model
right infront of her
or
take my time tending
to her bleeding wound
karma
once we got all that settled
she was back
turning trimming dancing
beautifully

sixteen

yesterday was the anniversary
of my marriage.
12 years on paper
16 total.
I used to tell myself
it's just another day.
convinced it didn't really matter
when he didn't remember.
he called me yesterday
to remind me.
for the first time
it really didn't matter.

f-stop

such a keen eye
captures enviable images
clear
concise
no mistaking the intent
mesmerizing

lunch

met a stranger for lunch today
familiar
yet...
not
we laughed at life's paths
how they've crossed
over the years
it was nice to see
his smile

release

a strong hand
moves up the spine
across a shoulder
pausing at her neck
fingers spread
firm
gripping
holding back
she exhales

live

I woke up and realized
my life was living me
no more
today
I live my life
ironic how this makes me
selfish

mute

years of silence
I found a voice
speak up
talk to me
I'm listening
sure

shark

I surfed with sharks last night
again
reaching out as they swam by
streamlined
smooth
smiling
peaceful

boy

tickle me
he yells
tickle me
tickle me
tickle me
belly laughs
all around

humor

he gave me a nickname
a spelling faux pas
sends me into fits of giggles
every time he uses it
so silly
it always makes me smile

talk

people seem
to have this preconceived notion
as to what therapy should be
counseling
shrink sessions
mental health
what if
we abandon
those notions
if I refuse to plunk down $150
for 50 minutes of talk
does that make my
therapy
any less effective?

preach

go ahead
tell me all about my ills
save me from myself
toss your best insults
never believing
never understanding
that I'm truly
okay

silly

sometimes........I giggle
uncontrollably
he laughs at my response
smiling
I can't help but sigh

Unrest

my brain races
unable to turn it off
exhausted
these thoughts
keep me from sleep
not even a warm hand on my hip
helps

Sigh

I can see each individual frame
droplets of water spray off the front of my board
the edge of my rail cuts through the face
down the line I glide
my fingers spread
reaching in
feel the healing power of her beauty

glide

I watched his slow powerful strokes
graceful over the water
I followed as best I could
keep each stroke efficient, he reminded me
I shook hands with a beautiful woman

Water

I can breathe under water
my dreams tell me so
full
deep
breaths
taking all in.
Healing.

Graze

I have 2 & 1/2 cats.
All three of them are fat.
Kitty cows............ I call them.
They remind me of myself
when I look in the mirror.

Imagine

I am not some affected woman
going on about imaginary woes.
These hurts......
are real to me.
I hope to one day
give them up.

Open

closed
guarded
cold
shut
hard
inaccessible
vulnerable......
weakness

Doubts

myself
others
everyone
all the time
I look forward to the day
they end

Cure

they say laughter is the best medicine
his......is my cure-all
the hint of a tickle
uncontrollable
A smile...
the crinkle of an eye
giggles on top of giggles
I feel better
much
better

Eyes

Having my son see me cry
is a humiliating experience.
I'm getting used to it.

Ideal

He answered with honesty,
can't fault him for that.
It wasn't the answer I wanted.
Chasing.
Always.......chasing.

this conversation is over
done
no longer will I be pushed
cajoled
no more
this time, I'm ending it
now

Hear

I speak with no voice
scream with no sound.
On and on I go
never once being heard.
Listen.............
Did you hear it?
The sound of a door being closed.

Tears

Thank you......for reminding me
of all that I miss out on.
As if I didn't already know.
I appreciate the gesture.
Maybe one day I can repay it.

Done

done with this life
ready to move on
let it go
nothing you can do will change things
I quit long ago

Anger

Meddling so-called friends
Kiss my ass
Find some other fuck to pass judgement on

Speak

I sat with her
Silent
Unable to speak
Staring at the coals
I want....
Embarrassed
I resort to casual banter

Edits

Thoughts come & go
Sometimes......I remember to write them down
Record
Read
Delete
Always........self edit.

Deep

she swallows all emotion.
smiling at her self-control
slowly building
she pushes it back down
burying it
deep

Defenses

Steadfast and strong.
Stay out.
Stay out.
Stay out.
She kicks & screams & hits & cries.
Imaginary obstacles.
A smile..........broke the wall.

Dugal

His laughter.
Giggles galore.
I capture it.........in my mental bank.
I draw upon it often.
Often.....
I miss him.

Rollercoaster

highs and lows
never ending.
one day
I'd like to get off.

Front

Standing tall. Cool. Collected.
Nonchalant.
So composed.
I see you.
In all of your nakedness......
I see you.

Faces

Two.
A front for all that you are.
Stop telling me otherwise.
I see it. I've seen it. I'll continue to see it.
No more.
Get on with your one man act.
This curtain has closed.

Breathe

deeply inhaling
the water fills my lungs.
cool. calming.
cleansing.

Whisper

Visualize, he whispered
his hand on my throat
Visualize........

Mistress

I want a connection with a woman
One that speaks my language
Not placating to the digressions
Hear me
Laugh with me
Put to rest my fears

Introductions

He introduced me without a second thought
Even smiled at me during the introduction
This second nature is unfamiliar to me
I am humbled by the experience
Caught..........enjoying the moment

Void

Bones protruding, sunken sockets
You'll be much happier if you lost five pounds
Watching the numbers
Agonizing
At what point is happiness achieved?
Size 6? Size 4? Size 2?
Percentage of body fat drives me insane
Avoid the scale
Avoid the numbers
Void

Voice

We speak of the unspoken
Strangers he & I
Connected by a degree
In tune.....unknowing.....alike
Sometimes the saving grace is being able to express a thought

More

Another heaert I've chased
Sought approval from
She doesn't understand that I need her.
Connected in the womb
She beat me by seven minutes.
She's wiser for it.
More experienced.
More level.
More.

She

Whales in the line up
Eagles overhead
I asked her to surf with me.
Told her........I need you in the water.
She chuckled at the thought,
Big fish aren't my thing, she replied.
I know.

Three

One tells me I'm selfish. The other tells me I'm hurfull. My heart aches under the heaviness of anger. Unhappy, yet unable to let go. A boy smiles and breaks my heart. His laughter stops me in my tracks. Gives my heaert strength. Three. A triangle of hurt, heart and happiness.

Here I am....

Well..........I'm finally doing it...........blogging. Not sure I'm cut out for this.........but I'm willing to give it a go. As long as you all realize you're not allowed to criticize my writing. LOL!