birthday wish

i wish...

switch

instead of our
usual routine
where
I read the story

tonight

my son read to me

halloween

got felt up by
my six-year-old
certainly
not the groper
I was hoping for

happy birthday to me...

time

red reminds me that
I don't do casual

she knows me well

crazy

my
horrid scope
actually
made sense
today

moon

glowing
brilliantly
tonight

wish it were full

trick-or-treat

.....give me all your candy..... 

tease

"...I don't get
fun offers
like that anymore..."

she said with a sigh

friday

today's drive...
brilliant
oranges yellows & reds
that fade into
greys and greens

no on ramp
no brake lights

no rush

rest

one
empty bottle of red
one
finished x word (with help)
hot bath
fresh sheets
cool breeze

waiting for sleep

dark circles

another
sleepless night

cold air
pouring in through
the open window
helped
clear my
head

you

Your voyeuristic actions...

confuse me
challenge me
scare me

...understand that I started this as a means of expression. Expression that I need. By letting you inside.....I've taken a chance......allowed you to experience my vulnerability. Vulnerability.....that doesn't come easy.

Don't take advantage of this generosity....I've afforded you.

tonight

my son
told me I was
beautiful
of course
in the very next
breath
he said I was
crazy

38

"...the more
old
you get
the more
nice
you get..."

he said with a smile

wry smile

...a little bird
whispered
in my ear...

drive

...I need to
stop listening to
Etta
in the morning

jc

no
not the holy
one
pretty damn close
though

...he's joining
me
in my bath
tonight

puke

it's difficult to
keep them down
burried
out of sight
when all I want
to do
is vomit them
for all to feel

queen

three cats
and a kid
kicking me
to the couch
more room there
anyway...

laundromat

would be nice
if the guy
next to me
would stop staring
at my folded
panties

better

the bremer joke
still had me chuckling
this morning...

sour

in a mood...

lucky

"...not much to look at.
Nothin' to see. Just glad
I'm living. Lucky to be..."

leave

what
does it mean
when my
dream
tells me
I'm closed

rs

cold
clear
glassy
light off-shores
she said
she needed walking on
tried my best
to oblige

muddle

ruffles
my feathers
that
cute boy
does...

lady

poured myself
a glass of red
and
went
searching for
betty carter
tonight

I found her...

"...afraid that if
I kiss you
you might think
it grand
then love will have
the upper hand..."

me

made
the mistake
of looking in
the mirror
a few more lines
several more greys
another year
coming to a
close

white

in the mood
for
something different
today

jealousy

...is an ugly
emotion
one that I often
let get the better
of me

weak

my whole life
I've been told
I'm hard
high maintenance
difficult to please
I've spent
a lifetime
talking to walls
lines
cats
even my
best friend
never received
the multitude of my
thoughts
my conversation
reaching out
for me
is beyond painful
almost....
crippling

sometimes

I hate myself
to lose control
of my thoughts
my emotions
even to myself
humiliating

stupid

what
I really meant
to say was.....

grin

got a video
in the mail
today
so unexpected
I really do like
surprises...

semantics

for a six-year-old
he asks some rather
insightful
tough
questions
I try to answer
as best I can

hair?

wow.....I don't know
what
my deal is, but
this morning's dream
was just as bizarre
strangers
strong hugs
scissors
flowers
and hair

damn my radio

Yaks?

I had the most
amazing dream
this morning
Madonna
yoga
giant Yaks....
or possibly gnus
bright lights
a stage
and music
I was the camera
my view
through the lens
Just as things
started getting
interesting
my alarm went off

figures...

hohum

monday blahs
or is it...
withdrawals

yep...

because you know
me
better than
I know me.
Tell me
again
how I feel.

tongue tied

sitting home
alone tonight
thinking
I wish
I could
express myself
verbally