Wednesday, June 27, 2007

one

One....year.

One....year....I have been adding to this blog.

This.....journal....of sorts.

What started out as a means of expression for me....a way to "verbalize" my thoughts....has become.....well......I'm not sure what it's become.

Drivel?

I gave myself two rules when I started this...project.

1. No self-editing. (I'm notorious for writing out responses/thoughts/musings then wiping it all away with a tap of the [delete] key.)

2. No re-reading. (Once I 'publish'....it's done.)

I did quite well, in the beginning. Then I discovered....people were actually reading....me. Seeing....me.

Scared the crap out of...me.

I mean....how could I possibly let someone see me? As the artist has stated....on more than one occasion.... "for more than fifteen years I couldn't get more than two words out of you about how you feel....yet here....on this blog....you can spill a thousand words for people you don't even know."

Well......yeah. I mean.....nobody's really reading this. Right? Right?

Eh....

Get your glasses. Pull up a stool. Pour yourself a drink.

Steady yourself for another year of....

Ups. Downs. Ins. Outs. Beginnings. Endings. Reading. Not reading.

.....prattling on.

at

13 comments:

  1. Kim6/28/2007 7:34 AM

    yep, people read it. and feel exactly the same way you do. Really. I can totally relate to this post. I've been blogging for about 4 years and STILL, when somebody I know mentions something from a post I feel...panic. It's so damn silly! probably because you feel so vulnerable when you write, but people don't see that (sorta), they just see the words...(sorta). anyways, don't focus on that part, just keep blogging—it's great stuff!

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  2. Anonymous6/28/2007 7:53 AM

    Prattling is a very good beginning young Surftwin. It's something I never do, as you know. Political, social and emotional insights are my forte. When you are as old and wise as moi, prattling seems rather shallow and a waste of time [tee hee]. I just wrote something and then deleted it! You'll never know what it was and I've forgotten already!
    PS I never read your blog - honest

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  3. Gazelle6/28/2007 1:38 PM

    Ah, hell - if you're going to put writing or whatever out there on a blog, why not edit and re-read? You don't have to, but if you want to express yourself as well as you can it rarely comes first time around. I just edited my last silly little post 15 times before deciding I got it right. Keep on bloggin'...

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  4. Bill Graber6/28/2007 2:04 PM

    I call it Rambling on my blog. but yes we do read it and it is good.

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  5. twin6/28/2007 7:40 PM

    Well Gazelle....what I meant by "self-editing" is...not allowing the thought/knowledge of someone/anyone reading this to inhibit me from putting exactly what I'm feeling/thinking out there.

    September/October/November of 2006 would be good examples to peruse. (If you can stomach it.) A stressful/difficult time for me....turning 38....a year on my own....blah blah blah.

    Obviously I try to edit for spelling & grammar. (Thank you Spell Nazi for keeping me clean.) Unfortunately....I've allowed "self-editing" to slowly creep into my posts. Sometimes it's easier to avoid an argument...

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  6. Gazelle6/29/2007 10:35 AM

    Ok, I get it. A bit slow on the uptake in my old age, I guess. I looked at some of those posts and they were pretty interesting. And different. But if it avoids an argument to not post that kind of stuff, I can't blame you for self-editing. You can always write some of it on paper and forget the internet...

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  7. BeanCountingSurfer6/29/2007 11:33 AM

    Whatever you post, I'll read.. How else am I supposed to pass the time??

    :)

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  8. 6ftnperfect6/29/2007 1:52 PM

    that old stuff is great! prattle on.

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  9. twin6/29/2007 1:54 PM

    Aw shucks Bean....even infomercials can be interesting after staring at numbers all day. ;-)

    And...Dad? Ginkgo Biloba may help clear up that memory loss....

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  10. Patch6/29/2007 4:29 PM

    Keep on truckin' surf twin!

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  11. penfold6/30/2007 7:15 AM

    Prattling is good. Inane drivelling from an old git is another ballgame entirely.
    I'm still only six months old in blogland - may I last as long as thee.
    Keep on blogging Ms Twin...

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  12. Doughboy7/02/2007 10:34 PM

    You should have started expressing yourself a long time ago. I understand "the artist's" frustration, but the same, am very glad to see you becoming more comfortable in being you.

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  13. twin7/05/2007 4:42 PM

    I've always expressed myself. Just haven't always used words...

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